We are making a new t-shirt, and we would like you to pick the slogan/handle/tag/battle cry. Post it to comments.
Depending on the quality and number of responses, we will either pick the winner ourselves, or put it to a vote. You may submit as many entries as you like, but think quality, not quantity!
This is to start. More…many more to come. I never want to do penalty burpees again. EVER.
1. “Ivy Finkenstadt can deadlift 325lbs.”
2. “If a Tree Falls In a Forest…We Probably Pushed it There.
3. “Shaft Was a Pussy.”
4. “Superman Is a Cartoon. We Are for Real.”
5. “I Feel Bad for The Car that Hits Me.”
6. “Our Pull-up Bars are Red for a Reason.”
7. “Ask to See My Callouses.”
8. “Are you Made of Sugar?”
9. “A Kinder-Gentler Kinda of Ass-Kicking.”
10. “Your Gym Makes Smoothies. We Make Warriors.”
11. “Wanna See My Snatch?” (For the ladies)
12. “Kumbaya MO*%$&FU#!#R!”
13. “My Kettlebell is Smarter Than Your Dumbell.”
14. “Our Asses Are Ripped. Really. I Am Serious.”
15. “Dave Will Tape Your Ass. Really. You Will Need It.”
16. “You Can’t See Strength In a Mirror.”
17. “That Puddle of Sweat? That’s Your Stage.”
18. “It’s a Workout, Not a Fucking Cocktail Party.”
19. “If StuLu Can Do It Anyone Can.”
20. “Do it Now. Before Oprah Does.”
Good stuff Stu.
Here are a few of mine. More to come.
1) Crossfit MPH – We Clean. We Snatch. We Jerk. Any Questions?
2) Our Girls v. Your Boys. Anytime, any place.
3) Crossfit MPH – Hard. Fast. No cuddling afterwards. (Obviously not my creation, but I fucking love it. Pursuant to Rule 13?, which was announced on 11/10 at approx. 7:35PM – Footnote: J. Main, Oct. 2009)
4) Crossfit MPH – So hard, only a cave man can do it.
Just to be clear, the “’nuff said” is not intended to be part of the logo.
21. “Do It Now Before Oprah Doesn’t.”
22. “Think of Burpees as a Rabid Down-Dog.”
23. “What Your Capable Of Is Only The Beginning.”
24. “After You Finish Your Bicep Curls – Come See Us.”
“Here at MPH, one of our coaches equals two of your trainers.”
“We don’t need any stinking treadmills, we brave the elements.”
This last one is a Mainism, but I really like it. “Life is crowded, you must rise above.”
“MPH…How fast can YOU grow?”
“There’s No Bail Out with Our Stimulus Plan”
“You Workout is Our Recovery”
(testosterone rising, better stop)
I like the one sonowhat (sorry have no idea who that is!) posted, but would change to “MPH. . . how fast can you go?” I like the play on Miles Per Hour.
Also: “DC’s Capitol Improvement Plan” (intentional spelling of Capitol with an O)
These are too funny!
Continuing along the lines of inappropriate snatch innuendos…
“I (heart symbol) Snatch” and then below, in a smaller font “(and Deadlift… and Overhead Squat… and Cleans…)”
“MPH. One step closer to greatness.”
“MPH. Stopwatch enforced.”
“MPH. The closest thing to fitness in a box.”
“WOD the f*!ck are you looking at?!”
“MPH. One step closer to greatness (or, at least we train with great people).”
“We eat yoga for breakfast.”
This one’s for Rob and today’s 7am crew:
“Crossfit MPH: Transforming pansies since 2009.”
I’m hoping I can my own personal shirt that says: “Rob, don’t be a Pansy.”
1. “FCUK GLOBO”
2. “CrossFit MPH – Our rubbers never break”
3. “Chipper isn’t a mood, its Thursday WOD”
4. “CrossFit MPH, because snatch jokes never get old”
5. “… Its a serious gym”
6. “we actually USE our rowers”
WWJD: What Would John Do!!!
No Shirt, No Shoes + Puke, Blood, and Tears = No Problem
You might think you can, we KNOW we can!
Fran is a mad a@@ delicate flower!@#!#$
I’ll raise you a Filthy Fifty
“Pain is temporary, Pride is Forever”
“Stronger then the Average Bear Complex”
“We do more before breakfast then you’ll do all week”
“I battle tropical storms and win”
Here are mine again from yesterday:
“It’s only your fault if you don’t hate yourself enough to do something about it.”
“You’ll still be you in a legal sense, but think of it as a thinner, more attractive, better you than you could ever become without us.”
“Your one-stop shame reduction center.”
“Do you smell that fitness? I do.”
More coming. . . .
“No great thing is created suddenly.” — Epictetus (A.D.200)
“Sweep the Leg”
“Greatness Is Elusive”
“The Best Part of the Day”
“Get. On. The. Bar.”
There are some really good posts here. Here are a few from me with no doubt more to come…
“If you think kipping is hard, try taping your ass”
“Our coaches can beat up your trainers”
“MPH, where greatness is made not determined”
“Our warm up is your workout”
“We put the MOT in motto”
“At Crossfit MPH if you think you are done, think again”
“We Burpee before eating”
“Crossfit MPH we get harder, go deeper and thrust faster”
“If you want to see my WOD, follow me to Crossfit MPH”
“If it doesn’t hurt, your are not trying hard enough”
“Don’t phuck this up!”
“Crossfit MPH where Clean, Snatch and Jerk is allowed in public”
Ok I am just getting silly now. I will have more to come…
We are Atheltes not Gym Rats
We are not “trained”, we are Coached
More to come…
“CrossFit MPH: A healthier way to puke”
“Crossfit MPH: The opposable thumb of fitness”
“Crossfit MPH: This is going to hurt”
“Crossfit MPH: You will thank us . . . later”
“Don’t ask me about “Narf” unless you want to do “Narf.”
“One strives for perfection, but one is never truly perfect.”
“Our turkish get ups could kick your bicep curls asses any day of the week.”
Here are a few more.
“Our lawyers vs your lawyers any time any place.”
“If it is not worth fighting for, is it really worth having?”
Alex M.: dnf
Ralph A.: dnf
Borja G.: dnf
Amy D.: dnf
Kim H.: dnf
Ted K.: dnf
Mayra C.: dnf
Ivy F.: dnf
David O.: dnf
Neil A.: dnf
Austin W.: dnf
Charles H.: dnf
Jen M.: dnf
Ravi S.: dnf
Sean M.: dnf
Jenn J.: dnf
Glenn C.: dnf
David G.: dnf
Rob K.: 32:23
Samir M.: dnf
Josh O.: dnf
Tod C.: 34:14 (sub: jump-stretch pull-up, green)
Steve D.: 31:29
Thomas M.: dnf
Meghan M.: dnf
Jonathan H.: dnf
Teal B.: dnf
Rob…counting on you to end the DNF string. See you at 5:00PM?
I may ask John if I can substitute Bicep Curls for Pull-ups….it may be my only hope.
Wow. What was the time limit? And why does this make me want to come in on my rest day?
That workout is a beast…
Notes for today:
–35-minute time limit
Alex M.: 15/75x pull-up (sub: jump/kip pull-up, 4″)
Ralph A.: 35/75x pull-up (sub: jump/kip pull-up, 18″)
Borja G.: 70/150x bodyrow (sub: 2x bodyrow)
Amy D.: 70/75x pushup (sub: jump-stretch pull-up, red)
Kim H.: 40/75x pull-up (sub: jump/kip pull-up, 24″)
Ted K.: 20/75x pull-up
Mayra C.: 64/75x pull-up (sub: jump-stretch pull-up, green)
Ivy F.: 26/75x pull-up (sub: jump-stretch pull-up, red)
David O.: 5/75x pull-up
Neil A.: 37/75x pull-up
Austin W.: 40/75x sit-up
Charles H.: 39/75x pull-up
Jen M.: 22/75x pull-up (sub: jump-stretch pull-up, blue)
Ravi S.: 73/75x pushup (sub: jump-stretch pull-up, blue)
Sean M.: 5/75x pull-up (sub: jump/kip pull-up, 12″)
Jenn J.: 15/75x pull-up (sub: jump-stretch pull-up, green)
Glenn C.: 8/75x pushup (25-minute time limit; sub: jump/kip pull-up, 12″)
David G.: 55/75x pull-up
StuLu: 10/75x pull-up (sub: jump-stretch pull-up, blue)
Samir M.: 72/75x sit-up (sub: jump/kip pull-up, 18″)
Josh O.: 73/75x pull-up (sub: jump-stretch pull-up, green)
Thomas M.: 61/75x pull-up (sub: jump-stretch pull-up, blue)
Meghan M.: 41/75x pull-up (sub: jump-stretch pull-up, red)
Jonathan H.: 5/75x pull-up (sub: jump-stretch pull-up, green)
Teal B.: 40/75x pushup (sub: jump/kip pull-up, 24″)
Crossfit MPH – Where “today’s WOD is a SDHP and bottom-to-bottom Tabata”, makes perfect sense.
The only thing that “spins” in our gym are the ceiling fans.
Ok, so I saw this on another affiliate’s shirt, but I still like it:
“Train to not suck at life”
No Dorothy you’re not in Kansas, you’re at MPH!
A burpee a day keeps the doctor way!
That isn’t part of my Paleo Lifestyle!
25. “One Look into Ivy Finkenstadt’s Eyes and You’ll Know Why.”
26. “Find Your Inner Ivy Finkenstadt”
27. “Please report to Mrs. Finkenstadt’s Office Immediately.”
Andy M.: dnf
Roger A.: dnf
Betty G.: dnf
Alice D.: dnf
Ken H.: dnf
Tim K.: dnf
Mack C.: dnf
“YES! IT’S THAT TOUGH”
BTW (above) is a quote with illustration (names changed to protect the innocent
28. “IMHO: UR Gym is :(”
29. Your First Workout is Called “Humility.”
A Johnism incorporated here
“Crossfit MPH: Check your ego at the door”
“Our product is athletes not athletic supporters”
“Crossfit MPH – It’s a way of life”
“We handle more mental weight than you handle physical weight”
more to come…
Sigh. my name used to sound like a novelist’s pen name. Now it sounds like the principal’s name.
Probably last set from me:
An old Crossfit HQ gem: “It doesn’t have to be fun to be fun.”
“Crossfit MPH: Uphill both ways.”
“You can’t turn back the clock. But you can wind it up again.”
“Excuse me, are you using that barbell? No, of course you’re not.”
30. “Lou Ferrigno Is a Big Fat Pig”
31. “If I Knew I Would Live This Long I Would Have Taken Better Care of Myself” Mickey Mantle
32. “Ego Has Nothing to do With Pride.”
33. “Mrs. Finkenstadt Will See You Now.”
34. “Fran in Under 5 Minutes..Like You Did With Her in the Backseat of Your Parent’s Buick.”
35. “Our Ladies Actually Want you to Be Hard and Fast.”
MPH- Where bad ass mother-WODers go to be athletes
MPH- Where athletes come alive (I’m reading pride, prejudice and zombies)
MPH- no gimmicks just speed, strength and power
MPH- makes me make this shirt look good 🙂
The last was inspired by the ridiculousness of the shake weight
“We Know Squat”
“Not Only Can You Do Squat, You Can Always Do Another Squat””
don’t forget to count!
Who can forget “3,2,1 GO!”
“I did “Fight Gone Bad” this morning what did you do?”
“MPH, where YES COACH is not a polite suggestion, it is a rule.
“We put the MOT in Mother F*cker this is tough”
“You can’t handle the moment of Truth!”
“Strength through humility”
“This week I am doing Fran, Helen, Angie, Ivy and Grace”
“You want a shower? The spa’s across the street.”
My God, what a WOD…
My WOD is bigger than your WOD
36. “The Little Box That Could”
37. “Lou Ferrigno – Out. Ivy Finkenstadt – In”
“Don’t Blow Your WOD”
Rob and Steve,
Thanks for setting the Benchmark today. You pulled everyone up in our group during this hell of a WOD. Just sayin…
And, Samir…that was one impressive piece of digging deep brother..you rock my world.
Thanks, that was a really tough one. Not sure I would have completed it if I didn’t have Steve to chase.
Samir – so close!
38. “Manhood For Amateurs.”
CrossFit: The hardest thing I’ve ever done. And I love it.
Better, Stronger, Faster
Discover strength you never knew you had.
Our internet was down all day. Keep them coming. Think quality, not quantity. You have until 1p tomorrow, and we would like as many athletes not named StuLu to weigh in.
Also, StuLu: one more about Ivy and every group does 60 minutes of burpees tomorrow.
1. “Tough times don’t last. Tough people do.”
2. “Nobody ever drowned in sweat”
3. “There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.”
Steve, Rob – thanks for the inspiration yesterday!
I am at an uncharacteristic loss for words, but:
if it’s worth doing; it’s worth doing again, faster
Crossfit MPH: accomplish something
MPH: Made to Push Harder
CrossfitMPH: Not just a workout, it’s a lifestyle
MPH: find the right kind of uncomfortable
pick it up.
This is probably too long, but in the spirit of the Letterman Top 10 list:
You might be a Crossfit MPH Athlete If:
10. You know what WOD, AMRAP, and FGB stand for
9. You know “Big Red” is not chewing gum
8. You’ve ever trampled a pedestrian sprinting down Church Street
7. The names “Fran,” “Helen,” and “Diane” strike fear into your heart
6. Your Deadlift Max has gone up 80 lbs in 2 months
5. You have taped . . . things to complete a workout without bleeding
4. “Paleo” is not an era, but a dietary way of life
3. You have ever done “late burpees”
2. You finished a workout when you thought you could never do it with friends by your side
1. You have the best coaching in Washington D.C. or anywhere- thanks Coaches John, Melody, and Rebekka!
That made me smile.
Ivy, Good stuff here. I really like this.
“it hurts so good.”
“we don’t do workouts: the workouts do us.”
“sort of like ‘Cheers,’ except we can raise the bar.”
“your personal trainer works out here.”
LOL! I love it.
Adam…I humbly bow to you in defeat. One hit and you did. To me this is it…the quintessential point. It is positive, catchy, and fetching in it’s simplicity. And, it’s true! It has a tough ring to it without making people feel that MPH is a prison gym at Guantanamo. Bravo!
We get more chests to the bar than your local Hooters!
“MPH-We don’t need to mentos to lift cars”
“MPH- Home to the 4 minute abs” 😉
“MPH- We are our own heroes”
“MPH-Come for the WOD”
picture of Sean of the deadlift
sean of the deadlift _ LOL
MPH: Can you prove your strength again and again?
the flu sapped my creativity so i’m doing the next best thing and becoming a critic. here is a round up of my favorite ones:
Here is my round up:
Kumbaya MO*%$&FU#!#R! (Stu) – cheeky, subversive and funny as hell.
So hard, only a cave man can do it (John S) – captures a essence of the mentality. that we are reaching for something primal in these workouts
There’s No Bail Out with Our Stimulus Plan (Ted) – timely and appropriate for DC
Stronger then the Average Bear Complex (Mayra C) – i love this one cause its subtle and a total insider joke.
your personal trainer works out here (adam) – as far as the cocky, “we’re better than you” ones go this one is the best. also its true in some cases 🙂
We’re done with the slogans—outstanding stuff. Thank you to everyone who participated.
Here’s the plan: we had more than 160 submissions. Melody, B-Kay and I will take it down to five, and post a new poll this weekend. You’ll vote, and we’ll announce the winner next week.
Enjoy the weekend.