Wednesday, March 3, 2010


  1. StuLu | March 2, 2010 at 11:59 pm

    Christy – well done!
    DaveO – It must be awesome to measure what you have accomplished – in years…way to go brother!
    Erez – I still don’t know who you are. I just think of you as a mysterious figure who loves show tunes. One day.


    Last night I looked at myself in the hotel mirror and realized that my 8 days of travel thus far, and some half-assed attempts at hotel gym workouts, had resulted in the horror of my pectoral greatness being reduced to drooping boobs. At first I blamed it on the mirror – a second look in a different mirror revealed that indeed: I need a bra.

    I spent the night tossing and turning, trying to adjust my man boobs amidst the 800-thread count sheets that kept getting jammed in the crevices of flab, shocked at the deterioration of my once glorious body. Then, at around 4:00AM, I woke up in a cold sweat as I had just dreamt that I was doing bicep curls with Carrot Top in a Gold’s Gym while singing Nickleback. I have tried not to interpret this. Clearly, I needed to do something. And stat.

    So, I found a box here to inflict a little StuLu/MPH kick-ass on these LA pussies. Just returned from the WOD at Crossfit Los Angeles (which is actually in Santa Monica) (which may be the result of an identity crises). I feel much better. I am whole again. Pectoral bliss restored.

    Now, in the spirit of Mike and his Sietsma style reviews, I will post my own for others to duly note.

    1. I introduced myself as StuLu and asked to “drop-in.” They asked which box I work out at. I told them “Gold’s Gym and today was an “arm” and “ab” day for me.” They were not amused. I thought my Crossfit MPH shirt would have revealed the jest – but in fact this is LA….people don’t joke about workouts.

    2. They asked me what MPH stood for. How LA.

    3. People gathered: The warm-up began. It started with a one mile run (which I had no choice but to keep up as I had no idea where I was going). Luckily I did maintain pace or I may have ended up in Los Angeles.

    4. The next part of the warm-up was pretty cool. The coach, Andy Petranek, set up 12 boxes of varying heights and we engaged in three rounds of jumping from box to box through the course, 10 squats to jump, Samson Stretch, and 6 clapping push-ups. I aced the boxes which went as high as 32″ and was fired up for some WOD action. A number of people fell at the 32″ box but I blazed right through…something that I think all of you, or at least Carrot Top, would be proud of.

    5. The WOD: 9-6-3-6-9 of 165LB Power Cleans, 32″ Box Jumps, and Push-Ups with a 25LB weight. I did lower my Cleans to 135LBs as my shoulder is a bit off these days – completing everything in 11:24. Middle of the pack. But I was stylish nonetheless.

    6. Everyone wore shorts. I wore my LuLu Lemon Yoga pants and MPH shirt. One guy (I kid you not) wore UGGs (again, I kid you not). He was pretty hard-core though so I guess he earned the right. I feel that the overall fashion level is a tad higher at MPH which is saying something given that this is LA. The UGGS were pretty original though and I am considering introducing them into my arsenal.

    7. Not one person cheered or pushed others to “give it.” The coach, Andy, was very good however and moved through the 11 people with encouragement and tips; but there was nothing from the athletes. People finished their WOD, called time, and started breaking down their bar. I moved over to my neighbor, Jordan, and gave him a StuLu-push with cheers and yells. People looked at me kind a’ funny and Jordan peered up from his push-ups as if I was a lunatic. I told him that he was lucky Ralph wasn’t here….XOXO.

    8. They have a gift shop. 32 items were available for purchase. Vitamins, T-shirts (which had Spandex!!), Hopper Cards, Jump Ropes, Hats, and some weird creams that I have no idea for what. They also sold hand guards…are we supposed to use these? I put an autographed picture of myself in the case with a price of $29.95 to spice things up a bit…I will see if it is still there tomorrow.

    9. I miss MPH. But, my pectoral shape is glistening once again!

    See you all next week…keep up the good work!

    StuLu – The Maharaja of Burpee

    • Kimmie | March 3, 2010 at 8:12 am

      I needed that post StuLu! Way to represent!


    • mikeheartspullups | March 3, 2010 at 11:08 am

      Stu — Awesome, I’m so proud!

      Regarding your humor (“arms” and “abs” day) — it’s not that people don’t joke about workouts, it’s that sarcasm is relatively unheard of in California. One of my only complaints about living out there was that people aren’t nearly as funny as they are on the east coast. Luckily they had you out there to show them how it’s done.

  2. cjsiegel | March 3, 2010 at 4:55 am

    Nice work!
    As comfort for returning to that box today, try to think how UGG man would feel at our box. If his gym supported conversation or if he’s at all self reflective his post may look something like this:
    One mile warm up in the snow. I now know that UGGs are not practical. Luckily I get to avoid practicality in LA. I saw 52 cabs while completing that mile, 0 town cars, and only 2 fancy German cars. Weird! And 14th street is more entertaining than the Venice boardwalk. Hm…
    Once back in the gym I was horrified as everyone talked to each other with genuine interest. They actually all appear to have real careers(yep! Not even 1 aspiring reality tv personality–although I think some of them could easily carry their own show) that they slave away at each day then still go to cross fit for an
    ass-kicking. I don t really like to cast praise on those who haven’t used plastic surgery to perfect their bodies, but that dc crew is pretty hard core.


    • mikeheartspullups | March 3, 2010 at 11:10 am

      Zing! Not an L.A. fan, huh? ‘sokay, neither am I.

    • StuLu | March 3, 2010 at 6:51 pm

      Awesome Christine! Nice touch in giving my review a reverse twist. I like it!! You had me thinking that the Ugg guy would have also commented on the rather moody Coach named John who informed him that he either takes those stupid-ass things off or get the hell out of “his box.”

      • coach | March 3, 2010 at 7:20 pm

        You say “moody”, I say “unpredictable”. I haven’t cursed at anyone in about 15 minutes. We call that “progress” around here.

        And yes, if someone shows up wearing UGGs, no good. (Someone please tell me what an UGG is. Is it connected to your Myface page?)


        • Need A Bionic Back | March 3, 2010 at 7:52 pm

          UGGs are overpriced boots (and shoes) that used to be trendy, but now are just gauche. Plus they are Australian (I think(, not that I have anything against former penal colonies (MC – your cue).

          StuLu – as our resident fashion guru, can you kindly elaborate on the rise and fall (thankfully) of the UGG, and its many knockoffs?

          John S.

  3. coach | March 3, 2010 at 9:18 am

    StuLu, I don’t know what “UGGs” are, but I already don’t like them.

    Hall of Fame post, Hall of Fame response. Good work you two. Speaking of hall…

    Excellent “L” pull-ups today Jess.


    • tbferg | March 3, 2010 at 9:25 am

      John, trust us on this, you hate UGGs.

      StuLu, glad to hear your moobs are back in shape.

      • TinkWants2GetStronger | March 3, 2010 at 9:53 am

        StuLu StuLu, how I live for your posts!! most excellent! and Chrstine…ROFL! 😀

  4. coach | March 3, 2010 at 9:51 am

    Katie M.: 20:46 (sub: 1x strict bodyrow)
    Alex M.: 23:15 (sub: strict pull-up)
    Erez Y.: 21:32
    Mike D.: 23:46 (sub: pull-up)
    Derek B.: 25:55 (sub: jumnp-stretch strict pull-up, blue)
    Ralph A.: 20:29 (45-lbs.; sub: shoulder press, jump-stretch strict pull-up, blue)
    Paul M.: 24:52 (15-lb. dbs; sub: thruster, jump-stretch strict pull-up, blue)
    Erin K.: 28:25 (sub: strict pull-up)
    Borja G.: 19:50 (sub: 2x strict bodyrow)
    Kris C.: 23:24 (sub: jump-stretch strict pull-up, red)
    Samir M.: 29:06 (sub: 2x strict bodyrow)
    Caitlin F.: 18:01 (sub: jump-stretch strict pull-up, blue)
    Scott D.: 24:56 (sub: strict pull-up)
    Josh M.: 24:11
    Mayra C.: 20:05 (sub: jump-stretch strict pull-up, blue)
    Ivy F.: 21:05 (sub: jump-stretch strict pull-up, red)
    Ravi S.: 28:18 (sub: jump-stretch strict pull-up, red)
    Jeremy N.: 18:51
    Jessy C.: 21:09 (sub: jump-stretch strict pull-up, blue)
    David O.: 23:59
    Jessica H.: 24:07
    Sean M.: 28:58 (sub: strict pull-up)
    Jen M.: 23:23 (sub: jump-stretch strict pull-up, red)
    Roselena R.: 19:03 (15-lb. dbs; sub: thruster, jumnp-stretch strict pull-up, red)
    Robbie S.: 27:03 (sub: jump-stretch strict pull-up, red)
    Mike S.: 18:20
    Joe P.: 18:04 (sub: pull-up)
    Jeff W.: 27:16
    Lisa C.: 28:37 (35-lbs.; sub: shoulder press, jump-stretch strict pull-up, blue)
    Linda K.: 26:34 (sub: jump-stretch strict pull-up, green)
    Glenn C.: 20:44 (sub: jump-stretch strict pull-up, green)
    Alan N.: 21:51
    Sara D.: 14:39 (sub: 1x bodyrow; 50/25-40/20)
    Steve D.: 20:20
    Jason H.: 21:15
    Joe F.: 23:15 (sub: strict pull-up)
    Shana S.: 15:09 (sub: 1/2x wall ball, jump-stretch strict pull-up, green)
    Erin H.: 18:22 (sub: 1/2x wall ball, jump-stretch strict pull-up, red)
    Christy P.: 16:07 (20-lbs.; sub: 10-foot target)
    Adam C.: 19:33
    Bill M.: 18:05 (sub: 1/2x wall ball, jump-stretch strict pull-up, blue)
    Amy S.: 20:04 (sub: 1/2x wall ball, jump-stretch strict pull-up, blue)
    Wayne C.: 20:56 (sub: strict pull-up)
    Sean F.: 20:00 (sub: jump-stretch strict pull-up, red)
    Koji H.: 22:13 (sub: strict pull-up)
    Gary C.: 15:53 (sub: 1/2x wall ball, jump-stretch strict pull-up, green)
    Amy D.: 25:43 (sub: jump-stretch strict pull-up, red)
    Meghan M.: 23:14 (20-lbs.; sub: 10-foot target, jump-stretch strict pull-up, red)
    Leota B.: 17:33 (sub: 1/2x wall ball, jump-stretch strict pull-up, green)
    Teal B.: 23:14 (sub: 2x bodyrow)
    David S.: 21:59 (sub: jump-stretch strict pull-up, green)
    Kate S.: 16:00 (sub: 1/2x wall ball, jump-stretch strict pull-up, green)
    Jen M.: 25:55 (sub: jump-stretch strict pull-up, green)

    • coach | March 3, 2010 at 9:53 am

      Notes for today:
      -floating substitution: thruster with 20/15-lb. dumbbells

  5. roselenaramirez1 | March 3, 2010 at 9:55 am

    I just want to share that I finally got a job, starting today (ufff, relief!!). Stulu, great post, as usual. Glad your pectorals are back in shape. And UGGs are horrible, but warm! John, great picture!!!! Is that took with the new toy?

    • coach | March 3, 2010 at 11:48 am

      Awesome news, Ros. Congratulations.

      As it turns out, I took that picture with the old camera. But, wait until you see tomorrow’s action shot…


  6. Jen M. | March 3, 2010 at 10:02 am

    should we point out that the trash talking from the 6a to the 7a was to no avail?? just sayin’… 🙂

    • dickson6am | March 3, 2010 at 3:13 pm

      I wouldn’t call it trash talk so much as motivational speak. Not sure you guys would have made it otherwise (that was trash talk).

      • coach | March 3, 2010 at 4:49 pm

        Mike D.—thank you. Finally. I mean, “XOXO” and all, but let’s spice it up a little. I say, enough of the “no, I love you more.” I say, “yes, I will hang up first.” I say, throw the gauntlet down, lay the hammer, and mix as many metaphors as you want.

        Soon, inter-class challenges will be the norm. Who will lay claim to the 6’s and 7’s—AM or PM? Is the 5p just always going to work the hardest? Are the 8a early-risers awake enough to compete with the slightly lazier 9a’s and 10a’s on Saturdays? Does anyone even care about the weekday 8a’s? Wait—we have a 12p group? And dammit, MC, when are you going to start hazing the Elements folks? They’re getting off too easily (…do it).

        This will fester for weeks—no, months on end. You won’t even be able to look at each other in between classes.

        And then, we can settle this the way it was always meant to be settled: dodgeball.

        (In a few months, we’ll be able to trace the exact point that I killed our community to this post. In other news, I think I just blew through my writer’s block. Not good times, great times.)


        • StuLu | March 3, 2010 at 6:40 pm

          I am shocked. I thought we were supposed to care for each other. Be there for each other. My Utopian vision of our community has been replaced with a call to Jihad.

          However, being the opportunist that I am I would certainly be open to joining whichever is the strongest group.

          Actually, I can’t do it…how am I supposed to trash talk Ivy Finkenstadt? Reduce Neil to tears and fear. Make Rob beg for mercy. I care for them too much…and they are stronger than me. I would suggest as an alternative that we just wreak hell and havoc on the Elements Class. Like plebeian hazing in the military academies. Have them lunge while shining our shoes, press my dress shirts for time, do pull-ups while spit polishing Big Red. And, just for fun, make them wear diapers and baby bonnets while doing three 800 meter runs. The possibilities are endless! And, as the maximum number of members approaches it would be the easiest way to identify the truly committed.

        • Mrs. Finkenstadt | March 3, 2010 at 6:56 pm

          I will now google for local gymnasiums for the dodge ball death match. Betta watch out cuz the girls want a rematch- never mind this between-classes crap.

  7. mchofia | March 3, 2010 at 3:04 pm

    Not only is the WOD the best part of my day but you all make the rest of it.

    Dave- Congratulations on your 5 year anniversary! You are an inspiration!

    StuLu-brings the funny with just the right amount of cringe

    Christine- I will echo John’s comment from last week, quality not quantity poster. (starting the slow hand clap that will boom to stadium applause)

    Roselena- I’m so happy to hear about the job!

    Megs- The janitor cleaned up again. I was happy to be able to witness that, you make it look effortless.

    Teal- Thanks for the set-up. You’re my boy (Teal) Blue!!

    6am- keep the trash talk coming, it will improve my time and loads.

    There is more to California then LA and San Fransisco!! I grew up in Socal so maybe you just said that there aren’t funny people in Cali because I live in DC now. 😀

    Whew, I need a coconut shake after all that commenting. Sorry it’s in mass but I’ve been busy at work and haven’t been able to refresh the blog every 30 minutes.

    • tbferg | March 3, 2010 at 8:38 pm

      I’ve long considered myself the resident “that’s what she said”er, but I’m starting to think MC has taken over the role…so, I demand a that’s what she said faceoff. I have no idea how to make that work (that’s what she said), but I’m willing to try anything (that’s what she said), and I know I will come out on top (that’s what she said).

      In other news: you may not know this, but I’ve been silently mocking the 7am class for months. Glad to finally have some company. Bring it, 7- 6am can out-sweat and out-grunt you any day (that’s what she said).


  8. train2live | March 3, 2010 at 9:11 pm

    Wow! All I have to say is this entire days posts should be in the HOF! I am still laughing. You guys are too funny!

    Thank you.

    Dave O.


Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *